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The Alchemy of the Con

Donald Trump’s second presidency is turning the U.S. government into the world’s biggest bagholder, legitimising a crypto Ponzi scheme in exchange for the cash that put him back in the White House.

Trump’s Crypto Reserve Is the New Tulip Mania

Trump’s second presidency is shaping up to be another tulip mania, this time with Bitcoin taking the place of 17th-century Dutch flowers. His administration’s move to create a national crypto reserve isn’t financial strategy, it’s a state-backed Ponzi scheme, trading government legitimacy for the crypto cash that bankrolled his campaign. The grift is now policy.

We’ve seen this before. After Trump’s first term, it was NFTs, Donald & Melania’s digital tat sold to gullible MAGA believers who were left holding worthless tokens. Now, it’s “Trump Coin” and the broader crypto world, with his supporters once again duped into thinking they’re part of some financial revolution. In reality, this new Bitcoin reserve isn’t a win for them, it’s a bailout for the same crypto whales who have already burned retail investors time and time again.

But crypto isn’t even fool’s gold. At least fool’s gold has physical substance. This is more like alchemy, except medieval alchemists at least started with base metals. Trump’s America is now stockpiling miasma, pure speculation turned into state doctrine. The difference between gold and Bitcoin is that gold has been money for millennia, while Bitcoin’s value depends entirely on the greater fool theory: it only works as long as there’s someone left to buy in at a higher price. Now, Trump is ensuring that the U.S. government itself becomes the final fool, hoarding Bitcoin like a desperate crypto influencer swearing that “this time, it’s different.”

And the timing? Convenient. Crypto billionaires funded Trump’s return to power, and now they’re cashing in. The very same administration that once dismissed Bitcoin as a scam will now be its biggest institutional holder. But just like the Dutch tulip bubble, this, too, will collapse. The only question is how much of America will be left holding the bag when it does.

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